Skip to main content

What Parenting Style is the Best?

What Parenting Style is the Best?

which parenting style is best

Have you ever wondered what parenting style is the best?

If you walk into the parenting section of any bookstore you’re bound to find a multiple of books with authors claiming they have the answer to best parenting. From researchers to mums to famous people – everyone seems to be an expert in parenting. Parenting advice comes in all shapes and sizes. No-wonder parents are so confused about which parenting style is best to achieve peace and harmony at home.

The developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind (and later Maccoby and Martin) spent years researching parenting styles. They found the most commonly used parenting styles and deciphered which parenting style is best. They categorized parenting into four broad parenting styles:

The Four Parenting Styles

Authoritarian parenting – placing demands, but low responsiveness
  • The Authoritarian parent is likely to get angry and demand the child sit there until the meal is finished.

Authoritative parenting – placing high demands and expectations
  • The Authoritative parent is likely to discuss why the child does not want to eat and the reasons why it’s important to eat in that moment

Permissive parenting – placing low demands and responsiveness
  • The Permissive parent is likely to make something else the child prefers

Neglectful or Uninvolved parenting
  • The Neglectful parent is likely to ignore the child’s demands completely or provide a meal that is unsuitable in the first place.

So which parenting style is best?

which parenting style is best, parenting tips, calm parenting





Researchers Recommend Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting combines warmth, sensitivity and clear boundaries. It has been found to produce the most positive results academically and emotionally in children.

Authoritative is different to Authoritarian parenting which is rigid and creates a demanding environment for children. In contrast, parents who engage in Authoritative parenting are observed to be in control. They also parent with the best interest of their children in mind. Authoritative parenting centers on setting limits, reasoning with children, and being responsive to their emotional needs.

Authoritative parenting sets high standards for children. However, these standards are coupled with empathy, respect and are nurturing. Authoritative parents are supportive to children’s needs, clear on their expectations and parent consistently.


which parenting style is best

Examples of Authoritative Parenting

Meal times are usually the place where parenting styles are put to the test. Fussy, messy and distracted eaters can push parents buttons. The reactions parents have towards a child’s refusal to eat, highlights their parenting style very clearly.

Benefits of the Authoritative Parenting Style

There are a range of benefits to choosing the Authoritative parenting style for both your child. Research shows this style tends to produce:
  • Improved academic performance
  • Reduced anxiety 
  • Increased self confidence
  • Healthier parent-child relationship

which parenting style is best

Steps to Introducing an Authoritative Parenting Style

  • Decide on your family’s clear boundaries and make sure you discuss these prior to enforcing rules around them
  • Ensure the rules are fair and everyone understands the consequences that may happen as a result of behaviour (particularly older children)
  • Be consistent – don’t bend the rules because you’re tired, overwhelmed or because you feel bad
  • Don’t dismiss your child’s voice – listen and take on board your child’s perspective and explanations of behaviour
  • Be flexible and adaptive (ie if your child has a good reason for bending a rule, take this into consideration when assessing the consequences of the behaviour)
  • Encourage independence in a manner that is healthy and safe for your child

What if I slip back into old parenting style habits?

There will be times when you notice yourself slipping back into your old parenting habits. However, with time and commitment you will start to see the benefits of this parenting style.

It’s very important to begin by ensuring that you have worked on your own self-esteem and self confidence. Parenting styles are highly influenced by how you feel about yourself, particularly if you are suffering from low self-esteem. You can work on yourself at the same time as introducing a new parenting style. Make sure to make yourself a priority too.

At the end of the day, you can decide which parenting style is best for you. With each parenting style you have the flexibility to introduce rules and boundaries that suit you.

The Authoritative parenting style highlights the significant benefits for your child. However, you can decide on the boundaries you set, the rules you follow and the manner in which you implement these rules. Be consistent, be warm and trust in your decisions to produce the best outcome for your child.


Lizzie O'Halloran, BBSc, MASR, NLP Prac
Author, Counsellor

  Discover Help For Mums FREE Positive Parenting Solutions

Positive Parenting FREE Video Series


Positive parenting solutions

Calm Parenting FREE Starter Course


Positive parenting solutions

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Ways To Reduce Stress at Work in Motherhood

Five Ways To reduce stress at work in Motherhood It's easy to say "just relax", but when you're feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to run first. This is when you need a few quick fixes to get you back on track as quickly as possible.  Below are a number of quick and easy ways to reduce stress whilst you're at work. 1) Write things down Often the feeling of being overwhelmed comes from having too much in your mind and hence relying on your memory to get you through. The worst part of neglecting to write things down is that your mind continuously reviews your list of tasks and in turn increases your anxiety over "all the things you still have to do".  Take 5 minute to write down everything that's racing through your mind. It doesn't matter how small. The idea is to get these thoughts out of your mind and on to a notepad where you can refer to them later. 2) Take a break You might think you don't have time t...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Truth About Parenting No-one Ever Tells You

Becoming a New Parent is Often Terrifying Parenting takes time and needs to be adaptable to the needs of your child. As a parent you have a huge impact on your child's health and happiness. However, modern day life leads to a great deal of stress, particularly as parents are often feeling judged by others if their children are not behaving perfectly in public. One of the major problems with society is that there are so many different theories on parenting. For instance one expert will state children are meant to cry a certain amount per day, whilst another will say leaving a child to cry is detrimental. As parents, you have decide which theory sits best with you and then you need to be able to cope with the consequences of being judged, should you encounter someone in public who disagrees with your parenting methods. No-one really teaches parents how to be good parents A lot of this comes with trial and error and with choosing one parenting skill over the other. At the end ...
Post a Comment
Read more

How Parenting Affects Child Development?

How Parenting Affects Child Development Parenting and Child Development Parents want the best for their children, so it makes sense that as a parent you want to do your best to support your child to develop to meet their full potential.  Parenting Research shows us that parenting plays a pivotal role in child development, particularly when it comes to academic performance, self esteem and overall happiness. Core aspects of child development The  'Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (2016) paper identifies the following core areas of child development 1. Physical health and safety Receiving care that leads to normative standards for growth and physical development. 2. Emotional wellbeing and Behavioural competence Receiving care that leads to a healthy sense of self, an ability to cope with stress and the ability to regulate emotions accordingly. 3. Social competence Receiving care that supports children to be able to develop and maintain posit...
Post a Comment
Read more